How does the story we tell ourselves everyday become our reality?
At 21 years of age this man’s story was not unlike any other that had chosen to avoid taking personal responsibility and instead of creating a happy and fulfilling life, was heading full steam ahead on a collision course, directed by personal sabotage and self-destruction.
He was heading uncontrollably towards the point of no return, owed to a number of poor choices made in his life that were resulting in the development of negative behavior patterns such as ; binge drinking, recreational drugs, street fighting and the very ugly break up of a long-term relationship.
The lowest point came for this young man, when he was diagnosed as suffering from a serious nervous breakdown. Psychologists and psychiatrists recommended immediate hospitalization and a series of unpronounceable medications for numbing and dulling the mind were prescribed .
The series of events that led to this break down, were created by the story he was telling himself.
How do I know this ? The young man I am referring to is me.
Growing up I was always labelled as the thinker, the thinker is the person who observes from afar. Watching the things going on around him and rather than expressing how he feels about them, I made a choice to suppress those feelings.
Emotions are thoughts in motion and only become harmful to us when we make them mean more than they actually are, by adding an emotional charge to them.
At 14 years old my dream was to become a professional and one day I would go on to emulate the stars of my day. I remember extremely clearly about a conversation I had with my PE teacher who told me.
“You will never make it as a professional soccer play, for one you don’t have the talent, two you are to small and three you’re not a team player”
The old saying of “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” I learned in that moment were completely untrue.
The seeds for doubt had been planted and like any seeds they began to grow at a steady rate, the average crop of wheat takes about a season to reach full growth, with the right nourishment from the sun, good soil and a splashing of rain will all contribute to help the crop to flourish.
Our thoughts are exactly the same, with plenty of focus and a connection to a story, we will see our thoughts materialise into reality.
I believe we can heal from our physical wounds, however if we are not emotionally mature and comfortably secure in who we are, which counted for the majority of young adolescents, including myself, then we can leave ourselves open to the damaging effects of harmful and destructive criticism.
Part 2 – Happily Ever After – Changing the story, we take a look at the latest research in Behavioral Science that uncovers some of the reasons as to ‘Why’ we get caught up in the negative thinking cycles that can lead us towards engaging in un-resourceful behaviors.
About the blogger, Dean Quirke is an Educator and Youth Activist, The Founder of YoungMen’sGroup and creator of ‘The Ultimate Work Experience, White Ribbon Ambassador and Speaker.
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